GUEST POST : Lena Stawicka explains 'I Miss You'.
This week I have invited a guest writer to share her views about keeping a long distance relationship healthy and happy.
Lena Stawicka is a professional dancer who travels the world while navigating long distance love and connection with her partner.
Our special guest is going to share with you how she keeps her relationship healthy and happy - even when they are oceans away from each other.
“I miss you”.
I have said those words to my boyfriend more times than I can remember. After 12 years of long distance relationship, missing him has become my norm.
Would I rather break up and not have this incredible love in my life? No.
Would I rather give up my dream essentially giving up a part of myself? No.
Is it easy? Of course not.
...but I live as an example that it's possible.
I believe that friendship and true love can survive any test of distance; take it from a girl who spent four months in Antarctica while her boyfriend was in Europe!
On average, my partner and I spend six months together and six apart. It varies year by year depending on my job as a performer.
People constantly ask me - “How do you do it, Lena?"
I have decided to try and explain how we manage it before - now, here I am!
Firstly - our actions and choices we’ve made over the years have certainly been driven by love. Not a romantic and obsessive kind of love that can consume and cloud judgment. But true love between two people. Above all, this man is my best friend and one of my favourite people in the world. That’s my reason!
We never promised anything, especially in the beginning. But we agreed to do our best. We never wanted to give up just because it was hard. It takes a lot of effort from both sides to make it work.
"What they don't know can't hurt them" - this just isn't true!
We’ve made it this far by being honest with each other. We have conversations about our weaknesses and temptations and we work around them. Knowing we’ll always tell each other the truth makes it much easier.
Thankfully, neither one of us is the jealous type. We accept that we can’t always know what the other person is doing. That’s why honesty is the way to go!
I believe if a relationship is good in all other areas, the distance is not a valid enough reason to break up or cheat.
Keeping each other involved in our daily lives is the most challenging for me. We tend to drift into good morning and goodnight messages. Communication is essential. Messages are easier but hearing his voice or seeing his face on a video call always makes me feel that little bit closer.
Our mutual support has been the strength behind our long distance relationship. We are two very different people and neither one of us expects the other to change. We live our lives on two roads and we are doing our best to make them meet in the future. Life happens, opportunities arise and we’re happy for each other to take them.
It takes a lot of effort, patience and understanding to make a long distance relationship work.